a pretty name!

 

But when I think of her, I always see a scowling face… Toni was a bit on the tall side (maybe.) She had dark, kind of curly hair, light eyes, not unattractive.

I believed then – and I believe I was right – she was the meanest girl in the eighth grade. I’d say she definitely had a chip on her shoulder… And I never did her a thing wrong,

but

one day Toni didn’t get her way.

Granted I was very shy, truly painfully shy, as a child and teenager. I felt insignificant and unattractive (I needed braces; in my mind: desperately.) I didn’t feel pretty nor think I was intelligent. The word I tagged for my self-description was ‘average.’ I was wrong.

Selah.

But here came this one day when Toni, her friends, (who were mean also, of course) me, and the rest of the class were in the music room. The male music teacher also seemed mean. He was tall, about forty, and I saw on him an anger that caused me not to like him… He didn’t do anything mean that I can remember; but I always think of him, safe to say, as unhappy, bitter, mean.

So here I was in this boring music class (can’t remember learning anything at all in it) with a mean team. I will, however, always remember when he talked about a certain song that claimed in part “Heaven holds a place for those who pray.” he proclaimed that it does not. And: he said it venomously.

But it does!

 

Proverbs 15:29
The Lord is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous.

 

Malachi 3:16-18
Then those who feared the Lord talked with each other, and the Lord listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning those who feared the Lord and honored his name. “On the day when I act,” says the Lord Almighty, “they will be my treasured possession. I will spare them, just as a father has compassion and spares his son who serves him.  And you will again see the distinction between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not.

 

Revelation 3:5
The one who is victorious will, like them, be dressed in white. I will never blot out the name of that person from the book of life, but will acknowledge that name before my Father and his angels.

 

Revelation 20:12-15
opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to what they had done. Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death. Anyone whose name was not found written in the book of life was thrown into the lake of fire.

 

I wanted to ask him, “How do people go to Heaven?” I really wanted to know, but I would have never ask him… I would not have trusted his answer.

Selah.

But back to Toni.

As we sat in this environment, bored, not learning, not interested; this teacher wanted the back of the class to move as much forward as they could. Why? Beats me.

As they did so, these mean, superior-acting, eighth graders tried to boss me; not ask me – but command me. I just wasn’t in the mood to be bossed around. Perhaps, and more than likely, if they had kindly, respectfully, asked me to move down, I would have been gladly willingly to yield to that type of request. However, a command can be quite irksome; and especially so coming from your peers you don’t admire…

Selah.

I love this fact today: I know they were quite stunned when the first one said (in that strong-arm manner), “Move down.” and I said unhesitatingly – “No.” That one-syllable word can be a very good weapon. I used it! And: I meant it.

Selah.

So what did they do? They had to settle and not have their ‘brave’ little teams sit side by side by side. (I bet you know bullies are braver in groups.) They were fuming (too bad!) One threatened me: I honestly cannot say what they said; but they were whispering among themselves and verbally targeting me.

I felt fear. Too bad!

But: I was braver than you’d think I’d be. I (wrongly) threatened to put a rip in one of the girl’s pantyhose. She proudly said “I’m not wearing any.”  This entire scenario made this class worse. As we rose to leave they left me alone. However, back again to Toni: Toni walked very, very closely behind me! She followed me up the steps. At that particular time, it was only the two of us in the stairwell. The fear I was feeling (not giving into) was intense. And as I climbed each step I thought about what I would do if Toni started beating me. My first decision was not to hit back. Rather, I would crouch down and cover myself. My reasoning was it would be obvious she had no marks, no cuts, no damage, no foul… And then: I would go directly to the principal’s office. I had never gotten into trouble at school: I had a clean record and knew they would know the differences between my character and ‘mean’ Toni’s…

Selah.

So there I walked up the stairs, not looking back, silent. She knew I knew she was there…

and suddenly she was gone!

I felt great relief for I never wanted to be attacked. But I was never willing to be a coward either. Maybe Toni knew I wouldn’t let her get away with it; maybe she knew she met her match! Never again did she or the others bother me. Never would I put up with bullies…Beloved, even as an eighth-grader, totally ignoring God, He loved me! He loved me! And He loved Toni! I hope we are (including her friends) sisters in Christ now! I hope Toni found peace and joy she obviously didn’t have… Don’t know. I, myself, am so thankful to say “No.” when it is the right thing to do…

In this current time, and as I’ve grown in Christ, I never care what people think of me: except for the fact, that if they don’t respect me and treat me kindly, I fear for their soul…

 

 

 

SCRIPTURAL TRUTHS FOR THIS JOY STORY:

 

 

John 9:31
We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly person who does his will.

 

Jeremiah 29:11-13
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

 

Romans 10:5-13
Moses writes this about the righteousness that is by the law: “The person who does these things will live by them.” But the righteousness that is by faith says: “Do not say in your heart, ‘Who will ascend into heaven?’” (that is, to bring Christ down)  “or ‘Who will descend into the deep?’” (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead).  But what does it say? “The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,”  that is, the message concerning faith that we proclaim: If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.  As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him,  for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

 

1 Peter 3:12
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteousand his ears are attentive to their prayer,but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

 

2 Timothy 1:7
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.