FOR ALL OF YOU who have many times put people before yourself to the point of not giving you, yourself, enough respect – this story is for you.

 

As a girl growing up without guidance from my mom or dad about why things are right, why things are wrong – like all people who ignore God – I created my own morals.

Selah.

And this is not a good place to be. Growing up I felt inferior to most everybody. I didn’t have a lot of clothes, some days I didn’t have enough to eat. I’ll never forget three days where we had no food. My dad suffered from Multiple Sclerosis. Money was tight. Braces should have been provided for me and I had always hated my smile because of my top tooth sticking out much farther than the other. I was one kid who deeply wanted braces.

Lots of troubles, lots of sorrows…

But, I wanted to get along. I wanted to be polite and respectful of people. I wanted friends. My shyness was truly painful. I never knew what to say…

In college I started (for whatever reason) having some fun with teenagers my age. I never did drugs, no one ever offered me any – probably because they knew what I would say. I was always disgusted with people who did and I never drank. In later years I began to drink alcohol in moderation, still believing it was ugly and disgusting to get drunk.

God was always working on me and there were many things I really did well (even as a sinner, aka unbeliever.) One of those things was being respectful and trying to make friends. I was lonely.

I tried to be polite and considerate for the right reasons… I never got in trouble at school or work for bad behaviors. I wanted to have a joyful life and move on… I didn’t do things to ‘fit in’ but I wanted to be friends with everybody.

My husband and I married way back (ha!) in 1979. The only California Christmas I had was during this year. And this is what brings me to the point of my story. We moved out to Los Angeles and lived there for only about a year and a half. After all I’d gone through, I never knew I could be so unhappy just because of where I lived. But I was. I hated Los Angeles. I tried though. I really did try to accept this completely foreign way of life. Actually, when we decided to move to Duane’s birthplace I went with the greatest of attitude, expectation, and with deep excitement!

Now comes Christmas.
And I’ll never forget it.

By now Duane and I were newlyweds. Married in September, 1979; ‘celebrating’ our first Christmas together with his family. The Christmas dinner was at Duane’s grandparents house (from his father’s side.) They’ve both passed and I truly am not certain what eternity either of them chose…

OPENING GIFTS:
I remember opening my Christmas gift from them. My memory tells me only Duane, his grandma, and I were in the living room even though there were about twelve people or so gathered together for this sacred holiday. I remember my beautiful red dress I wore – very Christmassy…

Upon opening this gift I was shocked! Who gives a spaghetti strainer to a woman who doesn’t cook as a Christmas gift? For a bridal shower – maybe. But a cheap (very cheap) gift to a woman who doesn’t cook! Seriously?

Duane and I for some reason were recently talking about this. He teased me about how I still remember. My case is, like King David, I stir up my victories, I reflect on hard times and how I’ve handled them, and most importantly, I think about what I would do differently in any bad situation now that I am holy; now that I know my worth is just as precious as every soul God has created. This is my point.

Selah.

I remember this hurt and I remember how I handled it. Even as an ungodly woman I didn’t want to be rude or hurt his grandmother. Keep in mind this as I tell you: this woman was crabby. I never liked her and I saw her as one dissatisfied woman. Most women in her generation did not work when they had young children. It was looked down on because you should raise your children and not leave them for nine or more hours a day for someone else to literally mold their characters. It was weird and unusual for her to do so. Her job wasn’t even impressive. Nothing to write home about, not a professional saving lives or souls… She was a store clerk. No. I always thought she wanted to get out of the house. She was crabby.

As I opened my cheap spaghetti strainer (even today they are less than $10) she must have seen the disappointment in my eyes. I certainly didn’t curse, complain; nor did I correct this choice of gift. I took it. I thanked her. But in her demeanor I do believe she felt badly. She should have. Why? Because not only did she give me this stupid, cheap, strainer (remember: she knew Duane was the cook and we both worked full time) she lied. She lied because she told me she couldn’t find a tee shirt for me that had a California logo on it (she knew I loved them and wore them often, me – a transplanted Minnesota girl!) Again, I didn’t correct her, argue with her. I remained silent… You have to understand, California sells all kinds of California tee shirts in all kinds of stores. She lied…

And I let her.

For years I kept the spaghetti strainer, actually until it wore out; and every time I used it I thought about her cruelty. She was trying to make me the kind of wife she thought I should be – a cooking wife. Yet, she left her children for a mundane job; and believe me, money was not an issue for her that she needed to work. She did not.

WHAT I WOULD SAY TO HER TODAY
with that gift? I would say: “I don’t want it.” Because of her actions behind this gift, because of she lied to me, I would not even say “No thank you.”  I would just say: “No.”

 

NOTE: That is what a lot of people say to Christ about His gift!

 

Matthew 7:13-14
“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to live, and only a few find it.

 

Then I would purposefully change the subject…
You see beloved, she did do a mean thing. She knew I hated to cook. She knew Duane loved to. It was our choice, not hers…

And she lied.

No. Today I wouldn’t accept the spaghetti strainer. It hurt me. And I wouldn’t let Duane take it home. And I wouldn’t have had all those years of using a gift given not out of love…

I am worthy to be loved. I am worthy to be corrected/ rebuked. I am worthy to be cherished.
And,
I am worthy to be told the truth.

So are you!

Christmas is about the birth of the only Lord and Savior of the entire world, Jesus Christ. The Spirit never wants us to lie to get along…  From now on you have a Merry Christmas by keeping God – the way and the truth and the life Head at your table – without lies, without hypocrisy, and forever being in godly reverence to the KING of kings and LORD of lords!

 

 

SCRIPTURAL TRUTHS FOR THIS JOY STORY

 

 

James 1:17
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

 

Revelation 21:6-8
 He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life.  Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children.  But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”