THIS TRUE STORY may benefit you concerning interpersonal relationships: how to cultivate godly ones: how to weed out those that would bring nothing of lasting value but in fact, bring detriment to you. Keys to this cultivation and  learning the difference can make for a true and lasting love.

 

I AM ALWAYS SO HAPPY TO SAY
there are many, many things I would do differently today!

Selah!

One thing is this: our trip with Someone.

Someone was originally Duane’s friend; he came to be mine too. When it was all said and done, he wasn’t. In my Christlike mind now, Someone never was a friend…
This story will speak of just one instance with the letdowns of Someone. Been there?

Selah.

Someone came from a very large family, the kind most people never have in this century… Thankfully, he wanted to see a lot (and I do mean a lot!) of them at a family reunion. This young man was heartsick at the thought of missing this huge and meaningful reunion. Can’t blame him for that!

The letdown for Duane and me was how Someone went about getting there…  As Someone once upon a time told us about this event he conned us into taking him. Unfortunate. But we were gullible. Yes, we were cheated! You see, Someone didn’t simply and honestly just ask us for a ride to the location. No, he easily duped us because we loved him sincerely and wanted that everlasting relationship as friends… Where we made our mistake was to trust and believe him. Why didn’t we know better? Simple. None of us were living to honor God! Because of Someone’s consuming desire to see his very large family, (again, an opportunity that didn’t come along recurrently) after the fact it became very apparent, Someone was willing to lie and cheat to get there.

Selah.

Understand, he talked and raved about the joys of seeing his family. We could tell how hugely important this was for the man. He was single and very longingly looking for a wife. He had moved away from his childhood home and of course, got lonely for kin.

Selah.

We too, had no children and were not yet married. We were not living nor paying any attention to our good God and Savior. And like Someone, Duane’s family was far away, even farther; California. My mother and I were not in any kind of relationship… So we understood and deeply empathized with him.

Maybe that’s why…

He’d keep telling us about his family, about how he hardly ever sees any of them, how much he wanted, needed, to go see them all. It’s been so long ago since we experienced this. I don’t remember how many different times he talked and talked about this reunion. I do know it was many. Someone went into details about fun, games, food, and visiting. How great it would be. But then, he added how much fun it would be for us! Really?! A large group of his family members – each and every one of them a stranger to us – that would bring us just as much pleasure or a good measure of it as it would to Someone?

We didn’t buy that…
But we did buy that we might have some fun and we knew Someone needed help getting there. It was a long way. All of us were young and just starting out. Someone did not have a car. Sincerely, here is the reason we said yes was to Someone: we absolutely knew how he was determined he needed to be there. His heart would have been so crushed if he could not go. Duane and I both felt we should do this for a good friend… But, he paid for this desire, as I said, with a lie. Not only did Someone pay for this trip with a lie, Duane and I found he didn’t once, not once, take any thought of our having a good time, or even a pleasant time, at this very family party…

Selah.

Do you know how I can say that? Be certain I am one hundred percent right? Because I will never forget the little truck my husband had at that time stopping on the property Someone had landed us on. The minute Duane stopped this vehicle, Someone jumped out of the truck and ran: we barely ever saw him again!

What do you think? Was this a friendship or an exploitation? I know he had used us to get what he wanted. I know that he didn’t give a flying fig if we had any fun at all… And, I know what else Someone tried to do to us another time to get his way. I put my foot down and told Duane, “No!” This one could have wrongly affected our very own marriage. I wasn’t about to let that happen!

Selah.

So, the weekend went on. That’s how long Duane and I were at a family reunion as non-family members and non-friend members; that is, with the strangers that were Someone’s family alone.

You know, I could tell his sister was not happy we were there. She had a right. In addition to  ‘bringing’ us, he easily said it would be no problem to bring Beau, our very large white German Shephard / Lab mix. It wasn’t. I see now how bad that statement (lie) of Someone’s could have been if these people had their dogs around. We didn’t let Beau run loose or anything untoward. It just wasn’t right to bring, not only uninvited strangers, but also their huge dog!

Whose fault was that?! Someone’s! AND: Duane’s and mine! In our love and caring for Someone, we just did what was ‘best’ for him, not thinking of ourselves, and equally not thinking about the care and concerns of his family. Would you want strangers (and uninvited by the host) to your rare family reunion?! I think no one.

SO THIS IS THE REVELATION I’ve gotten over this whole situation: In this day and age, I’d say no and not go… And, if Duane wanted to be a friend who went way, way, and above real friendship he could have taken Someone there and left. Someone could have gotten a prearranged ride home. In fact, Someone could have gotten a prearranged ride there! Someone said he could not…

Selah.

Duane and I may have been wrong to stay; but we were invited. Not by the hosts though. So, we probably were wrong.

IF I HAD TO DO IT OVER TODAY, I would have gone to his sister (it was her home and property) and tell her the situation. Someone told us we’d be welcome, it was more than okay to come! I would have apologized for being there; and I would have laid all the blame directly where it belonged — Someone. Then she would have known we didn’t mean to be interlopers. According to her reaction (and that of many others) we were.

THE FINAL REACTION: we never see Someone anymore. It’s been years. Guess who cut off the ‘friendship’? He did!

I guess he didn’t need us anymore. No. I know he didn’t need us anymore!

Selah.

 

 

SCRIPTURAL TRUTHS FOR THIS JOY STORY:

 

 

Proverbs 19:4
Wealth attracts many friends, but even the closest friend of the poor person deserts them.

 

Proverbs 26:18-19
Like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death is one who deceives their neighbor and says, “I was only joking!”

 

Proverbs 6:16-19
There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.